Awhile back, I had a ‘What’s Sexy Now’ series on my blog that highlighted mostly local women in business that I found intriguiing. I think we have shifted culturally in so many ways since I originally launched this series (especially since the pandemic) and I thought it would be interesting to see everyone’s thoughts now. So, I am relaunching it and bringing ‘sexy’ back!
But, also because of the pandemic, I really want to be able to elevate women again this way, to lift their voices, while many of us may be struggling still. Women were hit especially hard throughout the pandemic, after-all.
I thought it might be fitting for me to kick off the relaunch of this series by giving my own thoughts this time. But, I’m so excited for you to get to know the amazing women to be featured here, hopefully soon!
What does sexy mean to you?
1 : sexually suggestive or stimulating : erotic.
2 : generally attractive or interesting : appealing a sexy stock
“It’s eroticism as a life force, as an antidote to death or deadness. It’s erotic as a quality of aliveness, of vibrancy, of vitality.” – Esther Perel
“You have to feel safe in order to play. But if you do not play you will not experience the erotic.” -Esther Perel
Esther sums it up so well for me. Anything that makes me feel more vibrant and alive is sexy to me. Feeling valued and wanted. But, I love that she touched on safety, since I need some security to feel completely alive and free to be authentically me. That security usually comes from being well loved by others who are special to me. Of course, I can make myself feel sexy quite easily, but everything is better (for me) when shared. It just builds on it even more (for me).
What, in your opinion, makes a woman sexy?
Authenticity. True to herself. Kindness. Leading with love, not bravado. Posture, how she carries herself and the way she sensually moves her body. A signature style of her own, subtle or bold. Compassionate towards herself and others. The ability to create beauty wherever she goes. And, the ability to create life! LIFE! Women are miracle makers, in my opinion. I’m in absolute awe of every woman I have the good fortune to meet.
What makes a man sexy?
Most of what I find sexy is probably non-gendered really, traits that make all human beings “sexy” in my eyes, so both lists can probably be combined. But, when it comes to men specifically, these are some of the things that definitely capture my attention:
Integrity. Humor. Committed and dedicated. Compassionate. Consistency. Ability to be fully present. Intelligence. Emotional maturity. Focused. A sense of style with a tailored-looking fit to their attire. Confident, never cocky. Charming, dynamic personalities. Cultured. Skilled and talented (good at what they do). Sensitivity towards others. Sensuality. Kind eyes and a dashing smile.
Tips on keeping a relationship sexy?
Let’s just say I have a few tricks up my sleeve. (Wink)
A celebrity that you find sexy?
Monica Bellucci, George AND Amal Clooney (especially Amal. haha.), Jason Sudeikis or Michiel Huisman. Swoon.
Film, show, scene or literature that you find erotic?
The “kneel” priest scene in the Amazon Prime show Fleabag was incredibly sexy to me. The tension! The novelty! The shock! Seriously, it’s such a hot scene.
Even the main characters monologue leading up to it was sexy to me because she was being so vulnerable and authentic, and it was such an honest and beautiful thing to see. So realistic in her confessions of the decision fatigue that comes from being so alone for so long. And, it’s so hard to admit you even have needs at all. Just a brilliantly vulnerable scene. The whole show was fantastic though. Give it a go, if you haven’t seen it yet.
Song or Album that never fails to put you in a sexy mood:
I created a Spotify playlist called Rendezvous awhile back with plenty of sensual sounding songs that I listen to when that particular mood strikes. I am quite fond of sultry and/or haunting type songs with often slow tempos. Slow and intentional is just sexy to me, with so many things. (wink)
But, nothing is sexier to me than when those first notes begin to play on any song, by any band, in a live music situation. I feel so incredibly alive in that moment. It’s just thrilling for me.
Fashion trend, item or designer collection that you find sensually appealing:
Tom Ford will forever be the king of sexy to me. With his designs, products and personal style sensibilities. Rawr!
Sexiest destinations I’ve personally been to?
Dubai tops the list.
Or something cozy like a cabin at Zion Mountain Ranch, overlooking a field of buffalo.
Any destination with a rich history &/or vibrant culture will do though.
Local Vegas spot that’s sexy to you:
On the strip –
L’Atelier De Joel Robuchon at MGM.
Mayfair Supper Club at Bellagio.
Rose, Rabbit, Lie at Cosmopolitan.
Off the strip –
The exotic ambience of Paymon’s Hookah Lounge (Sahara Ave.)
Jing at Downtown Summerlin
Red Rock Canyon
What makes you feel sexy?
Being around people whom I adore, who adore me in return.
Laughing until my sides hurt.
Indulging all of my senses.
Curiosity, given and received.
Peak experience moments.
Being fully heard, seen, and understood by others.
Connection, intimacy and vulnerability.
Dance. Specifically pole dancing or coupled slow dancing.
Utilizing my talents.
Experiencing new things.
Being actively cared for by someone special to me.
Exiting my comfort zone.
Spa type experiences. At a spa or at home.
Pretty lingerie, lipgloss, perfume and high heels.
A little mystery.
Moody, warm lighting.
How have your opinions changed on what’s sexy to you throughout your life? As you’ve leveled up (aged) or because of the pandemic (for instance)?
For the longest time, sexy was predetermined for me by the male gaze. As I’ve maneuvered my way though life, I’ve discovered what’s sexy to me can be much messier than those prior expectations put on me.
Sexy to me is now a woman’s soft, rounded belly in a society where it’s expected to be completely flat.
Sexy to me now is relishing interdependence in a society that preaches independence.
Sexy is now crows feet that show me you’ve lived your life with joy, instead of a perfectly smooth canvas.
Sexy is stretch marks, cellulite scars and crooked teeth. The things we were told were flaws have become so beautiful to me.
Sexy to me now is admitting you don’t know something instead of pretending you have all of the answers.
Sexy is not wasting your time and energy on “maybe’s” and investing in the “hell yes”
The difference I’ve noticed through the pandemic has been that I’m attracted to more colors and things that make me think of more sweet, innocent and joyous times. I feel more inclined to take fashionable risks now, too. I find the extremes of comfort and glamour equally sexy now. And, I want more of of a balance between both.