I thought this session was fitting for today, with the theme yesterday being loving yourself and celebrating yourself somehow. Mrs. M and I had emailed back and forth a bit for a year or so until one splendid day she decided to go ahead and book a session with me. I was thrilled! I had gotten to know her some online and just adored her. I knew our session would be nothing short of amazing. I didn’t really know the full details of the struggles she was dealing with in learning to love herself more and break from the negativity of self-hatred that consumes so many of us. But, as a someone who has spent a lifetime trying to learn how to love myself and my body, I totally understood it. I felt a kinship with Mrs. M for her free spirit. Sometimes you have so much soul living within that it’s hard to find a way to release it, especially if you are consumed with self doubt. I have a feeling this boudoir session we did together might have helped her express herself in a pretty deep way though. She certainly looks absolutely beautiful, doesn’t she?
I’ll let her fill you in on the details herself….
“I spent the last 7 years of my life struggling, like most women, with my weight, identity, and beauty. After gaining 70lbs since high school, I started to feel like I was loosing myself and the loveliness that I felt within as a younger girl. I doubted all that I was, my self esteem was gone, my confidence and personality hindered. I hated the mirror because I hardly recognized the reflection of “that” woman, and it never felt like “me”. Food was my sick addiction, and with it I was building a prison (and a cocoon of safety) for myself to hide within. The fat was my protective layer. Self sabotage and hatred became all I knew, and I was spiraling downward.
Then one day it just clicked, and the inner woman that felt chained up became free and strong. The woman within became tired of feeling so much negativity about “self”. I started to eat right and workout… and as I headed in the better direction for my body (and soul) I knew that I had to express how I was feeling though images to physically show myself how beautiful I am, and relish in all the hard work I had put into becoming who I truly was. So I booked my session with Stacie (who is absolutely fabulous in every way!!) I was determined to do this boudoir session right, to “nail it” on the head. I wanted to express my sexuality in a whole new light and not shy away from the camera but to embrace it as my friend.
So I prepared, and worked out harder than ever.
Part of my boudoir preparation was getting a “tramp stamp” tattoo on my lower back fixed and touched up. I wanted to look and feel my best for the big day, and fixing my tattoo was a huge part of it this process as well. I told the artist what I loved and how I wanted it to look. The tattoo was originally going express the words: ‘Free Spirit’. BUT, as I was driving to my appointment a few weeks later, the words no longer resonated with me, I was becoming something different. Even though my spirit was feeling free, my soul became something more with this transformation, and I changed the words to: ‘Phoenix Rising’.
The Phoenix (a mythological creature) is a bird on fire that rises from the ashes and hardships of this life, to be birthed again. The Phoenix, to me, represents my inner woman and soul, reborn. This Phoenix within is unleashed, and rising to face life and the past identity that I carried around with me for years telling me that I was no good. I am this Phoenix on fire and rising again. Unleashed and before you now, sharing my boudoir images with you in all their sexiness.
Thank you Stacie, for who you are, and for making me feel like I could show this unleashed, free, and sexy woman to the world”
Mrs. M I am so grateful you came into my life. I am so incredibly inspired by your beauty, your courage and your free spirit. You are such an amazing woman, inside and out!
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