This post is another in my Bag Lady Series. If you are joining us for the first time, you can read what this is all about right here: PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHY PROJECT. To see all of the posts, click here.
Warning: This post contains quite vulgar language you may find insulting. And, this is not a slam on all men, it’s only discussing the majority of bad experiences women are having with online dating. Of course there are still good men out there, somewhere.
Like a piece of meat sitting on a shelf at the supermarket just waiting to be judged and manhandled, online dating has left women feeling pretty abused and objectified and wondering if there are any men left at all that actually want a meaningful relationship anymore.
Men express their greatest fear in online dating is showing up to a date and the woman ends up being 10 years older or “fatter” than she portrayed in her photos or as a male friend of mine mentioned on one of my facebook posts about this, they are afraid women will want a relationship too soon: “The women seem to want to rush everything and want a marriage proposal right away. Ugh!”.
Women, on the other hand, are tired of their time being wasted by men who only want casual encounters, are tired of being approached to be used for sex, are tired of dick pics, are tired of being objectified by men only pointing out our appearance, are tired of absolutely no effort being put into courting or wooing us, and are fearful for our very safety, of being sexually assaulted or worst if we decide to meet any online suitors.
Meanwhile men are lying about their ages by up to 20 years in an effort to lure the younger women to them since they obviously have no interest in women above 40. This has been statistically proven as when a woman hits 40 on her profile, suddenly the amount of men seeing her profile or responding to it drops considerably since they set their age range of interest to top out at 39. You can watch their profiles though and see how they keep changing their age younger and younger and younger. I’ve watched a documented 58 year old man who kept lowering his age till it reached 39. I guess he found his happy place! Although, he’s been on there forever so he must not have found what he’s looking for unless he just wants flings with younger women. Men past 50 are also listing that they are still interested in having children, so that discards women their own age immediately since they are past child bearing age.
Married men are flocking to these sites like crazy, and with no shame whatsoever looking for women to have some extra fun with. They do actually try a little harder than the single guys though.
Most put no effort into putting anything with substance on their profile but expect you to engage anyways. I had a conversation with one guy about this because I was curious why he thought I should speak with him when he only had “sex and music” listed on his profile and another favorite of mine that I see far too often, a photo showing only his nose and mouth. He wanted to be anonymous for some reason and I wanted to know why. Apparently, he was one of the many who feared the woman was lying about her weight or age and wanted to meet as soon as possible to make sure she looked like her photo and was afraid of wasting his time by filling out his profile properly because the woman might be overweight or older. Wow. I tried to let him know that no woman was going to give the time of day to a man they know nothing about. I told him that not only do women not have the time to go out with every single man that messages them but that it would be incredibly dangerous to do so. He thought that was funny and still insisted his fear of women being overweight or older was far more threatening than a woman’s worry of rape or worst.
Then there are the guys who post a Dr. Evil monologue as their text as if they had written it. Or they copy and paste from this college application that went viral awhile back. Very rarely do they put the effort into enticing a woman to want to get to know the real them.
But, mostly, they seem to be there to find someone to indulge in sexual fantasies with. I’ve stumbled across so many profiles that actually were filled out but only to specify they are only going to date women that would be okay having sex with other men in front of them, which confirms my belief that porn might be a bit of a problem in this day and age.
The young ones are desperate to find an older, sexually experienced woman to teach them about sex so they can impress the girls their own age with their sexual know-how, as you can see in this message I received awhile back…
20 year old male:
Hii I have a big cock let’s Hook up ???
And, this is exactly why I don’t date younger. I prefer to be seduced by intellect rather than meaningless bravado. For the love of women everywhere, please learn to woo a woman with words. The art of seduction is lacking greatly, especially amongst your generation. Be a leader and a real man and bring it back, please.
20 year old:
I don’t know why I’m telling you this lol but I am like that with girls I just really wanna hook up with a beautiful woman older than me who is experienced, but it’s so hard to get a beautiful mature woman to take me seriously Bc I look like a child ? but yea I’m just being lazy you’re right I could put more effort into it
But, mostly it’s guys who are obsessed with their penis and assume you should be too.
And, then there are the men who get agitated if you don’t respond to their advances…
Online dating didn’t used to be this bad!!! What has happened to us in the 7 years I was off the market? I had been so excited for the romantic possibilities in putting myself back out there until I realized how much dating had changed – how much men had changed in their pursuit of us. I watch as friends become single feeling that same excitement about dating and watch as they eventually become disheartened and give up, too. It really saddens me that this is the new world we live in. Women are now considering that they may need to co-op with other women as they grow older in an effort to not grow old alone since the men here don’t seem to find much value in us past a certain age.
When true connection and LOVE are what truly matters in this short life of ours, we have lost our way in the world entirely. Please let us all make the effort to change this. We need each other! We aren’t meant to be so isolated and alone!