If you are new to my Bag Ladies Series personal project, please start by reading what this is all about right here.
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I knew something was wrong when I began to feel a bit fearful to post anything to Facebook that was pro-women. And, by pro-women, that doesn’t mean anti-man, by the way. But, suddenly “feminist” became a bad word even though it just means equality. But, I’m a boudoir photographer who works mostly with women. I grew up with a single mother and and my grandmother had been a single mother as well. That was pretty much the limit of my very small family while growing up – just us 3, all female. And, I AM A WOMAN! Of course I’m going to be pro-women! So, for me to suddenly feel afraid to promote women issues was concerning to me, and something I knew I needed to investigate further.
It didn’t take long for me to figure out what was going on when Trump burst onto the scene. Every day soon became an assault to my senses. Every issue I had been fighting for was quickly turning into a hyper-partisan joke with Trump and his bully pundits attacking every time they opened their mouths, while encouraging their army of trolls to do the same. And, it was not only exhausting but incredibly disturbing. Here’s just a small sampling of what was mostly coming from Trump. The pundits and trolls were even worst though.
“Grab ’em by the pussy.” -Trump
“You have to treat ’em (women) like shit.” -Trump
“What is it at 35? It’s called check-out time.” -Trump on aging women
“I think that putting a wife to work is a very dangerous thing.” -Trump
“You know, it really doesn’t matter what they write, as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” -Trump
“I wish Hillary had married OJ.” – Trump Campaign signs & merchandise
“I like kids. I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of ’em. I’ll supply funds, and she’ll take care of the kids.” -Trump
On equal pay: “You get away from the whole American Dream. You get away from capitalism in a sense.” -Trump
“I have days where, if I come home—and I don’t want to sound too much like a chauvinist—but when I come home and dinner’s not ready, I go through the roof.” -Trump
“Trump that Bitch.” – Trump Campaign signs & merchandise
“A person who is very flat-chested is very hard to be a 10.” – Trump
“Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president? I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not supposed to say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?” -Trump
Trump called a female attorney “disgusting” because she had to pump breast milk.
“Don’t you think my daughter’s hot? She’s hot, right?” -Trump
“Wow! Just think—in a couple of years I’ll be dating you.” -Trump to a 14 year old girl
“26,000 unreported sexual assaults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?” -Trump
“She’s probably deeply troubled and therefore great in bed. How come the deeply troubled women, you know, deeply, deeply troubled, they’re always the best in bed?” -Trump
“I said to one of the women, I said, don’t eat—you shouldn’t have a piece of candy, OK?” -Trump
“Nobody cares about the talent. There’s only one talent you care about, and that’s the look talent. You don’t give a shit if a girl can play a violin like the greatest violinist in the world. You want to know what does she look like.” -Trump
“It’s all about the hunt and once you get it, it loses some of its energy. I think competitive, successful men feel that way about women.” -Trump
“You know, it really doesn’t matter what they write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” -Trump
Talk about objectifying and disrespecting women! I really had thought we had surpassed this way of thinking long ago. But, perhaps it had really just been lying dormant all this time. I suppose it’s better to know it still exists though.
Even though Trump can easily be laughed off as being completely out of touch with reality, and a crude, bombastic and egotistical neanderthal, what’s most worrisome is he seemed to have normalized this behavior and I am now seeing it everywhere, unabashedly. And, that is SCARY. Also, more terrifying is Trump now has the power to create policies based on this backwards and hurtful type of thinking. But, he is not alone.
A few weeks ago it came to light that Robert Fisher, son of a preacher and a Republican lawmaker in New Hampshire, had a secret online identity. He had created the misogynistic Reddit community, The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men. A popular site where men go to basically reduce women to nothing more than a body to be conquered…if they have a hot body not a chubby body, of course. (Grrrr!) They talk of “taking the pussy off the pedestal” and believe that women have sub-par intelligence” and an expiration date of 30. Wow! Trump at least gives women 5 more years before they are worthless to him. They also believe that female oppression, slut-shaming, religion and marriage are a way of controlling women. Let me just repeat…the creator of this site is an elected state official! But, it made sense to me that these things might be “trickling down” from the “top” because this is what I was experiencing with trolls online as well as in dating situations! This is not ok!
How can we move past all of this? Look, I understand some old fashioned type fantasies that perhaps it can be beneficial to have someone who is in charge of caring for the house and children. But, that isn’t the world we live in. Especially not when there are so many men who walk away from their families altogether. Women deserve a fair shot in being able to support their children and be treated with respect and kindness, not used and abused like this. We have to be more responsible in who we are electing for public service. Please. Meanwhile, other countries are flying past us when it comes to women’s issues and rights. Just look at France and Canada, for instance. But, never lose sight that women’s issues affect every last one of us. Society thrives when women succeed.
“Concerns about terrorism after the 9/11 attacks triggered interest in these [women’s] issues in an unlikely constituency: the military and counterterrorism agencies. Some security experts noted that the countries that nurture terrorists are disproportionally those where women are marginalized. The reason there are so many Muslim terrorists, they argued, has little to do with the Koran but a great deal to do with the lack of robust female participation in Islamic countries. As the Pentagon gained a deeper understanding of counterterrorism, it became increasingly interested in grassroots projects such as girls’ education in Pakistan and Afghanistan, you know that gender is a serious topic on the international affairs agenda.. That’s evident also in Foreign Relations. The wood-paneled halls that have been used for discussions of MIRV warheads are now employed as well to host well-attended sessions on maternal mortality.” -Nicholas Kristof, Half the Sky
WE DESERVE BETTER TREATMENT THAN THIS!